Oppo Ideas: Politics Edition [I Promise It's Good]

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle) 02/14/2019 at 19:04 • Filed to: Whimsy, Politics, Debates, Ideas

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Blatantly stolen image from Sunshine State News

The American Democratic National Committee !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for participation in upcoming presidential primary debates. That, and political debates, are boring. What is not boring is the requirements for participation.

The DNC will invite candidate with 1% support in three separate polls (lame), or, OR, 65,000 donors, with a minimum of 200 donors in each of 20 states (awesome)!

This presents an opportunity. Oppositelock has over 65,000 regular American readers, probably. With enough support , we can put an official Oppo candidate in the debates. We can bring the important issues affecting Americans, like the 25-year import ban, closure of racetracks, and the shrinking supply of CJ Jeeps to national prominence.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:21

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I would say that we shitpost too much, but that’s not at all a concern for the American voter anymore.

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/14/2019 at 19:29

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Our only weakness is a lack of penetration into the Russian bot farm market

Tekamul > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:30

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$200? Do you know how many miatas, voyagers and dying lexii that could buy?

Spanfeller is a twat > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:34

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If I sign it would be voter fraud, but I think the 25 year import ban needs to be gone

For Sweden > Spanfeller is a twat 02/14/2019 at 19:35

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If you’re not committing fraud are you even trying to win?

Alfalfa > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:40

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Judging by all the lonely hearts oppo posts today, Oppo isn’t getting much penetration at all.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:44

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Scoob/Nibbly 2020 Make America shart again!

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/14/2019 at 19:44

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Shitposting sounds like a valid campaign tactic to me.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Spanfeller is a twat 02/14/2019 at 19:45

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MEXICANS ARE COMMITTING VOTER FRAUD

Mexican Kia Stinger drivers!  Build a wall!

ttyymmnn > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:47

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Because here in America, we don’t tolerate corrupt politicians. We demand them.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Alfalfa 02/14/2019 at 19:48

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lul

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Alfalfa 02/14/2019 at 19:50

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Hey now, me and this box of Kleenex are doing just fine thank you very much.

WilliamsSW > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 19:52

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I think BM2 can link us up with the Russians to work on campaign intel, want me to ask him? 

RallyWrench > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 20:00

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Can we avoid 47,000 campaign posts like the last Oppolection ?

For Sweden > RallyWrench 02/14/2019 at 20:01

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No; we need 65,000 supporters minimum.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > ttyymmnn 02/14/2019 at 20:06

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Says the guy who grew up in Chicago (IIRC). 

BaconSandwich is tasty. > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 20:30

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Now if only there was a way to influence/reverse engineer those bot followers that have been popping up. We’d be golden.

ttyymmnn > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 02/14/2019 at 20:40

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Where do you think I learned it? 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 20:48

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Given your current leader is a notorious shit poster...how c ould the Oppolternative candidate be any less....well...shit ?

For Sweden > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 02/14/2019 at 21:39

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His Majesty would do no such thing

atfsgeoff > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 22:29

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If I’m elected, I promise to work toward legalizing lane splitting in all 50 states; eliminate the 25 year import ban ; finally build the Bering Strait Bridge and ensure that it has lanes for cars; set a national Interstate Highway speed limit of 85mph for rural areas; and finally, work toward improving driver education and training nationwide.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > atfsgeoff 02/14/2019 at 22:32

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You have my vote if you also add regulation to require auto headlights on all new cars. Not just DRL's.

atfsgeoff > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 02/14/2019 at 22:40

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I’ll do more than that! There will be new NHTSA regulations to require that all headlights be no more than 48 inches from ground level, necessitating lifted bro-trucks to have their headlights relocated to where the fog lights originally were. They will also need auxiliary bumpers installed at no higher than 24 inch height to prevent ramping over small cars in collisions.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > For Sweden 02/15/2019 at 04:28

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In this case, I  would love to see the succession plan if this play comes off...